A re-post of a popular post from the FastCupid blog. At PerfectMatch, we think that who you love is your business. Staff writer Margaret Osako shares this very personal perspective.
Ten years ago, I married the love of my life.
Years later, someone asked me if it was strange having an interracial marriage. What? Interracial? Us? My husband’s from Irvine and is as All-American as you can get. Oh, well, yeah, his parents are Japanese. I guess that’s true. I hadn’t really thought about it. But before 1967, my marriage would have been illegal.
Now I find myself thinking about it a lot. I have friends who, like me, have found the loves of their lives. And they can’t get married. Because they’re gay. And apparently, if THEY are able to get married, that will somehow make MY marriage less sacred, less real, just LESS.
This makes me wonder how I’d feel if I were living in the 50s, and was told, ‘no, you can’t marry the person you love.’ I’d be devastated. I’d be confused. And I’d be angry.
It also makes me wonder if married people in the 50s feel like I do now. When I talk about my marriage, I clench up if I’m around my gay friends. I don’t want to talk about my amazing husband, my amazing kids, and my amazing life. I am so lucky and so blessed, because I have this special privilege reserved for straight people. The ban on same sex marriage makes me feel embarrassed about my marriage.
That feeling is just so awful, and so wrong.
A ban on same-sex marriage does not make my marriage better. A ban on same-sex marriage is a ban on MARRIAGE, and it diminishes my marriage, makes it less sacred, less real, just…less.
This unfairness makes me sad. And confused. And angry. It would be wonderful to live in a place where marriage is something that everyone can take for granted, the way I was able to. I’m sure it’s not that simple, but to me it makes sense to make the institution of marriage MORE, instead of LESS.
Banning marriage for someone else won’t sanctify your marriage. In my opinion, if you can’t find sanctity in your own marriage, gay people are not the problem.
Category: Perfect Match News