What Makes a Great First Date: Part 3, How to Wrap it Up

by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, PhD, at Perfectmatch.com


You’ve had a fun time on your first date. The company was pleasant and conversation didn’t lag. So, how do you end it properly? Etiquette aside, wrapping the date up politely and leaving a good impression is the best way to get a second date.

Having fun on a first date

Keep a first date active, but maybe not so physical…

Set a time limit. We talked about setting a limit in Part 1 of this blog thread. But just to recap, agreeing beforehand on a time to say goodnight makes a bad date more bearable and lets you leave a good date with something to look forward to – date #2!

So the next question is how do you say goodnight? Hollywood wants every date to end with a passionate kiss, but if you’re looking for something serious, start the date with an idea in mind as to what you’re going to do physically.

Hold hands. At the end of the date, if it feels right, hold hands. It’s a physical connection that also has the impact of creating a deeper emotional bond between you. Still as you casually touch the other person’s hand, watch their reactions. Conservative people might find this way too forward, and you have to observe body and facial cues to see if the other person wants this kind of contact.

No kissing on the first date. Don’t kiss on the first date unless you are both so obviously smitten that not kissing would be strange. And even if you are smitten, don’t go beyond kissing (unless you are looking for a friend with benefits rather than a serious partner). I know it seems right sometimes – but it’s taking a risk you don’t have to take.  A woman could think a flat out pass was sexual harassment – or a man could feel a woman was not discriminating enough to be serious about. Granted, I have met plenty of people who had sex on the first date and ended up married to each other – but I still think it’s a bad bet. Save something for the second date – and the third and fourth.

If you want a second, date ask for one. But wait until you get home. If they’re not interested, it will be less awkward for both of you deal with rejection via phone or email.

Enjoy your first date and enjoy getting to know someone new – and give yourself the best opportunity for a second date!

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Category: Dive into Dating

About the Author ()

Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a published authority and a professor at a major U.S. university. Dr. Schwartz has received many awards, including the Matrix Award for Achievement in Education, and the International Women's Forum Award in Career Achievement in Washington State. Dr. Schwartz is the author of more than 15 books and was recently named the national love and relationships Ambassador for AARP.

Comments (2)

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  1. Jenn says:

    I like the idea of no kissing on the first date. I wish this was standard for everyone. Minimizes the awkwardness.

  2. hotsummer says:

    Great idea of No kissing on the first date!!

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